Life of Akazuma

I wonder what should i do if she really engaged in this 2-3 weeks. I know its hard for me to stop her to do that because she love that person. But i know she have problem with that person and its hard for me to do about that. Its up to her to choose between me and him. I know she love me too. But she love that person first before know about me and its hard for her to leave that person because of me. She know that person family and they in same town. Its super hard to undo what have done. The relationship of 2 family is too closed. Its hard me to break that unless that girl really want to choose me badly. Huh..

I just come back from mosque. Do terawih like always i did every year. Seems like that the only moment i can treat myself and make me feel calm. I just pray that she will turn to me. Its really bad to pray and ask something like that before she engaged? I only will give up if she marry with that person. I just do what i need to do and never cross the gate of hell. Huhu..

Ps:

I need to admit that i have feeling that she love me. I know about that because she also show a same response many times. Its hard and i guess she also can’t deny that. But both of us just need something like hint or momentum to make us admit it together. I wonder how that can happen and how it will happen. It become worst everyday because both of us try to show our feeling, but its still not happen. Its sounds stupid and like another fairy tales, right? Huuu..

How i can face her tomorrow and another days? She will leaving us in few days and i still cannot make her smiles about my feeling. If she thing i’m another useless guys who always talk crap, i guess its time for me to admit my loss. But i still don’t want to give up. I still believe God with me and her. So, i will try my best this few days and just hope she will give me a chance even i know its really hard..

Ps: I guess my finance management become better now. Thanks to my best friends who always help me. Just my love affair not really works. Hoho..